resident evil the musical
by guinus of stupidity
Summary: this is resident evil meets grease 2. its all the songs, well thats a lie its most of all the songs. chris is steph. jill is michael. wesker is johnny. excella is paullette. hope you enjoy.


Spending my vaction in the summer sun, getting lots of action and having some fun. We gotta go back , back, back to … killing the virus…. You won't find me till the …. Virus is dead…. You better be there till the end. We gotta go back, back, back to … killing the virus….. AGAIN.

"WELCOME! To a new year at the B.S.A.A. we are please to annouce that a new student has arrived ' That's me!' no not you sheva shinequa, her name is jill valentine."

OK SKIPPING AHEAD TO THE IMPOTANT STUFF LETS DANCE!

Hey … excella… take a look over here I'm your kingpin honey and I'm getting in gear.

Hey … wesker wesker … bowl for that strike and I just might be your baby tonight.

Let's bowl let's bowl let's ROCK N ROLL. Hey come on lets get the show on the road. Let's bowl let's bowl let's ROCK N ROLL, we're sitting on a bomb and its winner takes all.

(bowling being the equalient to killing)

Next,

The parts of a … Virus… are so productive that very very often, a bite can cause infection. If not then a bee of any other infected creature can create the same situation.

We call this quest for domination a what lab? A viral-nuecleotic reactor. That's good thats really good. Where were we? Racoon city , the mansion.

Destory the city, DESTORY THE CITY, wesker can we do it now. destory the city, DESTORY THE CITY, is that all you think about…… yes…… destory the city I don't even think they now where the virus is? I got the virus right here. Where can the virus go?

After the city destoryed,

If you really wanna no what I want in a gal. well Im looking for a chick with a mean machine, with hell in her eyes. I wanna devil in blue skin tight lether, and when by night, I'll be fighting beside……. A coooooooool fighta, a coooooooool fighta . if shes cool enough she can pop them through and through Whoa whoa. And if it takes forever then I'll wait forever…. Wait a min so your telling me that you'll wait for ever to have sex. Stupid virgin were going through the apocolispe you never know when you'll die. .… SHUT IT JILL THIS IS MY SONG…. Now where was I….. DAMNIT NOW I DON'T REMEMBER THANKS A LOT. ROLL NEXT SONG.

she came out of the darkness in the middle of the night. Blazing like a mother with a fist of dynomite. She aint fooling no one on that pile of rotting corspes burning up the streets like she was the B.S.A.A.

ARGH ARGH ARGH ARGH AGRH ARGH

…..UM thank you zombie balmutio…….

The only thing you zombies gonna do is eat her gun…… whoa whoa oh. Whos that gal wit the costume. Her flashlight ablazing shes killing the pavments. Looks to me like she can really fighttttttttt, won't somebody tell me whos that gal….. what would they say if they knew it was jilly…..

Short intermission……………………

Ok wesker your up don't ruin it remember to enunciate and not growl or snicker in the song… shit were on go go go go.-

WERE GOING PROWLING WALK TALK LIKE UMBERALLA…. Shit chris I forgot my lines…. Um um.. AH SCREW IT I ONLY HAVE 7 MINUTES FOR THIS SHIT ANYWAY AND ITS TAKING TOO LONG . PEACE WESKY OUT –waves peace sign-

…. Um that was gay. Well that would explain the spandex……

The talant show has finally arrived. We have many proformences tonight but most of them couldn't be played by accual character… hey im a character… no josh your there to watch miss shineaqua.

Yo chris you gotta light? No wesker I quit . *bitch cough cough* whatcu say.

I have on, the mysterious character walked up. Chris stared and before they knew it wesker went dashing for her. THIS TIME WE GET HA REDFEILD. NO WESKER NO.

-I'd like to say she was fine but he dashed so much that not only did he fall off a cliff. He brung her with him.-

NOOOOO, sobsob, NO I LOST MY BASTARD OF AN FRIENEMY ANDD MY LOVE.

That's perfect chris that can lead us to the next song. Go do it.

NO I DON'T WANNA I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT ANY MORE.

Fine

Well folks that's all the songs we can twist and bend to our whim. Guess it over . ….. wait look … a not so tall figure stood upon the building –fake you know part of the stage- before a word can come out crash. Everyone gasped, she rushed up but now her goggles are off. I'M OK… um.. jill? Wasn't expecting that.

OH JILL I JUST KNEW IT WAS YOU. Why was that chris I thought my costume was flawless. Well it was but everytime unknown you poped the othe you disappeared. Oh well thanks for popping that bubble.

Jill theres one thing I don't understand , wheres wesker? Um well her touched me in wrong places so I shoved a bullet so far up his ass fragments came out his nose. WESKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR –HOW DARE YOU TOUCH MY PROPERTY- um chris you know I can hear you right I am standing over here…. .

And so they lived happily ever after. Well until chris became gay and explored the marvalious world of rock music and cocaine.


End file.
